Strawberry Savior
"Hey, Miss Lynn!” said Ryder hopefully.
"Yes?” replied Lynn mildly annoyed.
"Can you please tell us a bedtime story tonight?” Ryder
asked while the other children giggled and agreed in the background.
Lynn hesitated, knowing she had way too much paperwork to get
done. She could not possibly spend the time to tell the children a story. The
babies would surely be up by six which gave her hardly five hours of sleep
anyways. Add in story time and she might barely squeeze in four! She looked
around at their begging faces and, as usual, she gave in saying, "Okay, but
just one!"
The children all cheered. She blushed and took a second to
rejoice in the moment. She loved when she got that butterfly feeling. The same
one she had when she first started this orphanage. Helping children is not
always easy but it is moments like these that keep her going each day.
"What story would you like to hear?” Lynn asked the
group.
Molly's hand quickly shot up in the back. She was one of the
eldest children here. She had heard all of Lynn's stories.
Molly replied, “Can you tell the one about when you knew you
were going to marry Mr. James?"
Lynn smiled- this was one of her favorites. She and her
husband James had been married for 25 years now. He always supported her and
her dreams. Without him this orphanage would not have been possible. She always
knew he was going to be hers for life.
"Of course, I love this one,” Lynn replied. The kids
all cheered and then quickly settled into bed for their story.
Lynn began, “I met James in the Farmer's Market back in
1989. I was looking for strawberries and he was looking for potatoes- or so he
said. I will never understand why he thought potatoes would be next to
strawberries. Oh well, that will be a question for you guys to ask him!"
She rolled her eyes and giggled a bit as the children all
looked at her with eager anticipation.
She continued, "We hit things off immediately. First we
grabbed coffee, then dinner, then started seeing movies. We fell so madly in love
and everything was moving so fast! I was in school at the time and he was
working a couple towns over from me. We did not get to see each other as much
as we liked but we were so in love that it did not matter. We were determined
to make things work. All was going well until one day a few weeks out from my
graduation."
Lynn paused and looked around at the small faces all
wide-eyed and full of anticipation.
She started in a softer tone saying, “We had plans one
weekend- a big date out on the lake. We had rented a cabin and it was going to
be beautiful and romantic. I get to his house and find a note on the door
saying, 'Sorry, went to the lake with the boys see you next week sometime!’
Obviously I was furious. We had all these plans and he just finds something
better to do! I felt so unimportant. I decided I would wait for his return
until I heard rumors about there being other girls on the trip but I was just
not invited. I then felt so betrayed. I convinced myself that he wasn't worth
my time and returned back to school. The next few days went by. He called and
called but I never answered. One day I got a letter. I opened it not realizing
it was from James. It claimed he had totally forgot about our trip and how
sorry he was and he wished I would just answer his calls so he could explain.
Being the stubborn woman I am I still did not call him. The next day I received
a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I still did not call. The day after that I
received a gorgeous necklace. I put a return stamp on it and sent it back. Then
I received a human-sized teddy bear! I gave it to my dogs to play with. All of
his efforts were wonderful but I was still not ready to forgive him. Then the
very next day I received a massive bouquet of chocolate-covered strawberries
with a note saying, 'Without strawberries I would have never met the woman of
my dreams'."
All the girls giggled and the boys just rolled their eyes at
such a corny line.
Lynn smiled and continued, "With that last gift I was
done. All the old feelings came flooding back and I knew he deserved
forgiveness. I ran to my door to get in my car and to my surprise he was
standing there! I wrapped my arms around him and told him how much I missed him
and he was forgiven. He apologized over and over and we just hugged. I knew
right then that this man would do anything for me. I knew in my heart that he
was the one."
Lynn stopped and looked around smiling at the children. They
all started to clap and exclaim about how beautiful the story was and they
wished for a love like Lynn and James have.
Lynn looked lovingly at the kids and said, "You all
will find loves. You just have to wait for the right one and then never let
them go over silly fights! If you do fight, don't be afraid to make up and be happy again... so you can enjoy the strawberries!"
 |
| My Favorite |
Author's Note: The inspiration for this story came from a
Cherokee tale about how strawberries were invented. In the tale a husband and
wife fight and the wife leaves. The husband tried to chase her but can't catch
up. He receives help from a god who places fruit in her way to try and get her
to stop. Nothing catches her eye until the god places a never before seen
fruit, the strawberry, in her path. Then she stops and she and the husband meet
back up and solve their problems.
I know I went a bit off track for this story but I kept the
overall concept of a couple fighting and being resolved with the help of
strawberries. I made these strawberries chocolate-covered because that is just
always better. I then added more background to the story with how the two met
and their lives now at the orphanage. My first thought was to do a bedtime
story but instead of going with once upon a time I decided this direction would
be more fun. I also pulled this story from a real life situation. A similar
event happened with me and my current boyfriend. I thought it would be
interesting to put my real life into my fiction short story.
Bibliography: Myths of the Cherokee by James Mooney (1900). Tobacco and Strawberries.
Bibliography: Myths of the Cherokee by James Mooney (1900). Tobacco and Strawberries.
I really liked this story! It's always fun to go running off in another direction with a story, when you're not really sure where it's going, and to see what happens! It was so sweet that Lynn and James met in the Farmer's Market, and that they've been together for so long--and I also thought it was cool that you included the orphanage, which is kind of like a product of the fact that they're so supportive of one another, in the story. Anyway, awesome job, and I can't wait to see what you end up writing in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Ally!
ReplyDeleteI read this story and the one about Princess Hase. (I’m always intrigued by wicked stepmother stories since I have a stepmother who is very not wicked.) But Strawberry Savior won out! What a sweet little love story! I loved the part where James sends her strawberries and she says, “All the old feelings came flooding back and I knew he deserved forgiveness.” I liked that part because it’s relatable. If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, you know there are times when you’re mad at the other person, but a memory of something sweet he did in the past can make your feelings toward him in the present soften. It’s crazy, but it’s also kind of an awesome feeling—and one that can save us from unneeded unforgiveness and bitterness!
I also thought the original Cherokee tale was pretty interesting, or at least what you said about it. I’m not one for romance stories, but I like tales of true love, and I love strawberries. So it was neat to hear about a story that says strawberries were basically born out of love and perseverance!
The thing in this story that really caught my attention was the beginning--how she was telling this story to kids in an orphanage and the fact that they were so hooked into the story. It made me tear up a bit reading about her receiving the strawberries and running to go talk to him. I'm so glad they made up! It was also cool how you brought your personal life into this story. It made it feel more real!
ReplyDeleteHey Ally! What a great story, I am so glad I chose your portfolio to read through today. I was really intrigued with how you started the story and your choice of setting, an orphanage. Is that something you are interested in doing? I have loved using bedtime stories as my mode to try and retell some of the legends. I think that you did a good job with portraying strawberries as the savior of the relationship, much like in the original. I also happen to love chocolate covered strawberries so I would have forgiven my boyfriend too! I was laughing at all of the other things he sent and how you wrote about the woman sending them back or letting her dogs play with the stuffed animal! I liked that you had a picture of the delicious strawberry too, it made me want some for sure. Good luck with the rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Ally! I loved your story! How cute and adorable is Lynn and Jame’s love story! It totally seems like something that would happen in real life! I also liked how you incorporated strawberries in the beginning of their love story and also in the end. It definitely made Lynn realized why she fell in love with James in the first place and why she is still with him! Sometimes women just need a reminder how much they are loved by their significant other! I thought you did a great job telling it from Lynn’s perspective and a great job telling it in an orphanage story! Lynn sounds like a sweet angel who wanted to start an orphanage! The only suggestion I have would to maybe split up your story into smaller paragraphs because it was a little hard on the eyes to read! Other than that, great job on your story!
ReplyDeleteStrawberry Savior… Interesting title! Let’s see what it is all about! I will be leaving comments as I read your story. Please find those comments below:
ReplyDeleteThe same one she had when she first started this orphanage. Helping children is not always easy but it is moments like these that keep her going each day.
--- That’s so sweet! I felt like I could feel the same excitement and joy that she felt at that very moment.
Lynn smiled- this was one of her favorites. She and her husband James had been married for 25 years now. He always supported her and her dreams. Without him this orphanage would not have been possible. She always knew he was going to be hers for life.
--- true love. So presh!
He called and called but I never answered. One day I got a letter. I opened it not realizing it was from James. It claimed he had totally forgot about our trip and how sorry he was and he wished I would just answer his calls so he could explain.
--- Hm, that sounds a tad bit off to me. They both played a role in planning this trip, including booking the cabin at the lake, so that sure would be strange to just up and forget about it, but remember to leave the note on the door.
Then the very next day I received a massive bouquet of chocolate-covered strawberries with a note saying, 'Without strawberries I would have never met the woman of my dreams'."
--- Okay, that was sweet and very thoughtful.
That is such a sweet love story. True love prevailed. Great job!
Ally, I have to say the title is what caught my eye and why I chose to read this story. Strawberries are my favorite fruit, and I had to find out why your story is titled "Strawberry Savior." I haven't read the Cherokee tale, but it sounds very interesting! I like the fact that you kept the overall theme, but gave it more of a modern day twist. It definitely makes it easier to understand, and to relate to this couple. Although a little dramatic, I think you did a good job of showing how the strawberries had so much influence in being a "savior." Lol. One thing I will say I feel didn't fit, is how he forgot about their trip. It's understandable for people to forget things, after all we're only human, it just seemed like they had planned out every detail together and it would be highly unlikely for him to just outright forget. Maybe you could describe that a little better to help the reader understand and actually feel sympathy for him in the end. Overall, I really enjoyed this story! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Ally!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I hope your semester is going great! Second, the reason I chose this story was mainly for the title. Any story that has some type of food in the title is going to catch my attention! I guess you could say food and I have a very special bond, plus the picture covered in chocolate never hurts either!
When I started reading the story I was under the impression that Miss Lynn was a teacher, or librarian or something along those lines. When I read that she had opened up an orphanage for the children and why she enjoyed what she did, for me, it added a special addition to the storytelling. It gave it a moment of "feel good" thoughts! I love things like!
One of the things I like about your actual writing skills is the element of information added to each of your sentences. I feel that you took the time to make sure your reader could truly envision what was going on and how the characters were feeling in that particular moment.
The only thing I would change is maybe making spaces between the sentences so it will be easier to read. I really enjoyed this story and I am looking forward to reading more from you!
I love your story! I like that it takes place in an orphanage and that she's telling the kids the story of how her and her husband met. Love stories are always the best, especially when two people meet in the cutest way possible, like shopping for strawberries and potatoes! I thought it was interesting that James had forgotten about their date, but then decided to send lavish gifts to her, even though she wasn't returning any of his calls. I love that his last gift to her was a bouquet of strawberries because that made the story so original and different! It made it more real when you added typical kids' reaction to cheesy things, like the little boys rolling their eyes and thinking that everything was silly. It was also cute that you turned it into kind of a life lesson that the kids knew that if they just waited for the right person. You did a great job on the story and it was so fun to read!
ReplyDelete